


Shenanigans of a New Age (Incomplete)

by splot



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, I Don't Even Know, I promised happy OT3, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-02-06 04:31:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1844488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/splot/pseuds/splot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter what Tony Stark said, or Clint Barton believed, James Barnes and Steve Rogers were not hopeless with technology.<br/>Exact opposite, actually.</p>
<p>Upon receiving one, Steve had mastered smartphones by the end of the day.<br/>James took two hours.</p>
<p>But of course, it was only the bare minimums and necessities they mastered.</p>
<p>Enter one Darcy Lewis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Convert: Steve

No matter what Tony Stark said, or Clint Barton believed, James Barnes and Steve Rogers were not hopeless with technology.  
Exact opposite, actually.

Upon receiving one, Steve had mastered smartphones by the end of the day.  
James took two hours.

But of course, it was only the bare minimums and necessities they mastered.

Enter one Darcy Lewis.

* * *

 It wasn't unusual to see Darcy with her face directed down at the phone bigger than her hand, typing furiously and pulling faces.

_[ "Uh-uh, any phones that aren't Stark need to be out of the building, Lewis." "Touch my phone and I castrate you, Stark." "What even is that monstrosity?" "It's called the Samsung Galaxy Note. Android will always beat StarkTech and Apple. Just saying." "Out." ]_

Steve is her first victim (convert?).

She's in a meeting, bored out of her mind. She has her tablet in her hands, absently taking notes as Director Coulson speaks. Steve is sitting on the other side of the room with his own, and it gives Darcy an idea. Keeping her face blank, she fires off a message to Steve.

 **[D.Lewis]** You ever heard of snapchat?

She sees the moment he reads the message, brow furrowing as he shakes his head minutely.

 **[D.Lewis]** It's an app. Like messaging, but with pictures when you can and text when you cant. They only stay visible for a set amount of time before disappearing, unless screencapped or saved.

His reply is quicker this time.

 **[S.Rogers]** And the advertising is because...?  
 **[D.Lewis]** I'm bored out of my mind and Captain America snapchatting has to be the funniest thing to ever happen.  
 **[S.Rogers]** It hasn't happened yet.  
 **[D.Lewis]** It will.

* * *

 That night, before she sleeps, she checks her Snapchat.

OkayButTazers has one friend request from LittleGuy.

Darcy accepts and snaps a picture of her wrapped in her blankets from head to toe, only her nose and mouth showing, a cheesy grin that she captions "Naptime for P.A.s and not so little Avengers ★ " and sends it to him.

She receives a picture of Tony being dragged from his workshop by an unimpressed Pepper. 'Goodnight indeed.' The caption reads. Darcy laughs and falls asleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

 

In the morning she wakes to another two from LittleGuy.

The first has Steve's neck and shoulder  in the corner of the frame, the early morning light telling her it was well before normal-human-wake-time. The background is what makes her laugh. There's a man sitting on a park bench with his finger up his nose, digging intently. It's captioned; "Digging for gold?" 

The next one is of the man sitting with his hands on his lap, looking suspiciously smug, captioned "Think he found it." 

Darcy doesn't laugh before 9am. She isn't human before 9am. Someone could die in front of her at 8am and she'd shrug and continue about her day. 

Here she is, almost rolling off her bed laughing at 8.30am. That's right, you heard it here first, folks. And then she realizes. 

8.30.

Goddamnit, Coulson's gonna kill her. She jumps out of bed and scrambles for her things, getting ready in a rush. 

By the time she's decent, she sends a snap to Steve as she's on the elevator up. It's from her bright red lips (Cherry Tart Red, yes please) down, capturing to the collar of the muted red blouse. "Is this against dress code???" 

She reaches her office, makes a face in response to Coulson's disapproving one, and settles at her desk in time for another snapchat from LittleGuy. It's of the star on his navy tactical suit (aww, he's going on a mission, super sad face), captioned "Probably, but you look beautiful." 

At which point she has to put her phone down and aside, refusing to admit the pink on her cheeks. 


	2. Whoops ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has been radio silence for two weeks, so her Snapchat hasn’t been all interesting. It’s super boring and Coulson seems grumpier when Steve’s gone, like a teenage girl gets when her best friend goes on a holiday without her.
> 
> it’s hilarious. 
> 
> Darcy wakes on monday, checking her snapchat as she rolls out of bed and sips at her coffee.
> 
> Three from Skye, one from Sally in accounts, two videos from her brother (captioned ‘learning how to human’ as her twin nephews attempt to shove their mashed banana into their mouths), and finally, one from LittleGuy. 
> 
> And just like that, Darcy’s suddenly so awake.

Steve has been radio silence for two weeks, so her Snapchat hasn’t been all interesting. It’s super boring and Coulson seems grumpier when Steve’s gone, like a teenage girl gets when her best friend goes on a holiday without her.

it’s hilarious. 

Darcy wakes on monday, checking her snapchat as she rolls out of bed and sips at her coffee.

Three from Skye, one from Sally in accounts, two videos from her brother (captioned ‘learning how to human’ as her twin nephews attempt to shove their mashed banana into their mouths), and finally, one from LittleGuy. 

And just like that, Darcy’s suddenly so awake. The time on the snap is 3am, so she guesses he must have just gotten back. She presses down on the little pink square with excitement. 

It’s from just under Steve’s eyes to the unbuttoned collar of his tactical suit. She can see the dark circles under his eyes, and there’s a smear of dirt across his nose. Dark and thick stubble covers the lower half of his face, and Darcy almost forgets to read the caption.

**Don’t know what I missed more; razor or you.**

At which point Darcy has to put her phone down and press her face into her pillow for a few minutes. Finally she rises, gets dressed and ready. This time her blouse is black and white polka-dotted silk, and she goes for the bombshell red lipstick this time. She pouts in a mimicry of a kiss and snaps it to Steve, captioned **glad to see you’re home safe ♥ rest up!**

* * *

 

At lunch she gets a snap from LittleGuy of a picture of her office door. **Guess where I am and what I have with me?**

The next snap is a picture of a bag of her favourite diner burgers, a little smiley face drawn on corner of the picture in bright red.

Darcy laughs and lets him in with a bright smile. He looks smug and proud of himself, and she can’t help laughing again, wrapping him in a hug and running a finger down his clean-shaven cheek. 

“Thought I told you to rest up, Steve.” She raises an eyebrow at the dark circles still under his eyes. 

“Jetlag.” He shrugs, and she can feel his whole body move with it. Which is when she becomes aware that he hasn’t let her go yet.

It’s also at that point where Coulson sticks his head out of his office, clearing his throat. “Captain Rogers, nice to see you made it home safe. If you would mind not groping my assistant in the doorway…” 

“If anyone’s gropin’, it’s me.” Darcy winks, resting her hand on Steve’s bicep and squeezing with smirk. Steve rolls his eyes and Coulson raises an eyebrow. 

“Miss Lewis, if you would mind not groping the Captain in the doorway…” 

“Got it, boss. I’m taking lunch.” She lets go of Steve with a grin, grabbing her bag, coat and phone and waving at Coulson as she and Steve leave for the private staff room that very few had access to.

They laugh and talk as they eat lunch, and when Darcy gets back to her desk, there’s another snap waiting for her from LittleGuy.

There’s a stack of paperwork sitting on his desk, beside a pot of coffee and two bagels.

**Is this your idea of a welcome-back gift?**

She sends him a picture of her taking a sip from her Hawkeye mug, an eyebrow raised and a clear smirk.

**Enjoy! ♥**

* * *

If she gets a bit more daring in her snapchats, she doesn’t think she can be blamed. 

* * *

She’s just getting in from the office, and it’s three. In the morning. 

_Seriously!_

Darcy yawns as she closes and locks her door, throwing her bag and coat on the armchair in the living room on her way to the kitchen. By the time she reaches said area, she’s slid her bra out from under her shirt and is toeing off her stockings, silk blouse untucked from her skirt. A quick dinner of leftovers and a glass of red later, she’s dropping the rest of her clothes to pick up tomorrow on the way to her bedroom. She knows Coulson would yell at her for providing obstacles in case of an energency run, but she’s just so damn tired. 

There’s a button down her brother left on his last visit; it’s so damn soft and warm, she slides it on over her panties and crawls into bed, phone in hand as she checks her last few messages.

Steve’s goodnight snapchat is a picture of a less-than-appealing bedroll that has her frowning in sympathy, but she’s too tired to not be teasing about it.

She lifts her phone and snaps a picture of her surrounded by her pillows, a smirk on her pink-stained lips. **Enjoy your night!** she captions, and it’s only after she sends it that she realizes there was more than a little bit of cleavage in that picture.

She can’t bring herself to care as she curls up in her bed and drops off to sleep.

 

  
Half a world away, Steve Rogers muffles a groan into his lousy bedroll at the picture.

Darcy might not care but Steve certainly does.

* * *

It’s halfway through winter—ugh, winter—and Steve is yet again half a world away on a mission. He’s a walking furnace, and all these missions are depriving her of that. Darcy’s sure Coulson is keeping them apart on purpose.

_Not cool, Papa Coulson, not cool._

What is cool though, is her boobs.

Seriously. In the literal definition of the word.

She is freezing her tits off while Steve is undercover in Australia.

_AUSTRALIA. LAND OF BEACHES AND SUMMER SUN._

Not fair.   
Her next snapchat is a picture of her bra _(blue with a little bit of pretty lace embellishment, pretty and practical, thank you very much)_ dangling over the radiator. 

**Freezing my tits off. Let’s hope this plan works.**

It does. When she puts on the heated bra, she practically moans in relief at the warmth. 

The reply Snap from Steve is of him lying on the sand of some beach or other.

_Holy Mother Mary, abs!!!!!!!!!! I take back everything I said about God not existing. Sorry for not going to church more often, but I will gladly praise the Lord for this picture._

She almost misses the cocky smirk on his face. No caption needed. She gives one aloud anyway.

“Asshole.”

She's not game enough to screenshot it, so she savours the last three seconds before groaning in frustration as the picture disappears. She can one-up that. Darcy can  _totally_ one-up that. She is the queen of one-up-manship. 

 She leaves her phone to the side for now, running herself a warm as hell bath, dropping clothes and switching on the bluetooth speaker as she starts up the music from her phone, indulging in a little Candy Crush. 

And then she gets an idea. 

* * *

A whole hemisphere away, Steve's phone beeps by his side, and Natasha shoves it towards him as she continues scoping out the beach. It's a really nice beach, yellow-white sand, water that starts out a frothy white-blue, stretching out into darker shades until it meets the horizon. It's glorious. Steve checks his phone, smiles at the little notification from OkayButTazers, presses down on the little pink square--

and suddenly, he's so glad he's lying on his stomach. 

It's a picture of her legs- _those shapely, pale, smooth legs-_ slick with water as they rest against the edge of a tub. It's not revealing in the slightest-- it's her  _legs_ , for chrissake-- but it still has his face heating up. The caption reads  **Enjoy your beach, jerk. I'll stay here on my lonesome.** _  
_

Steve has to put his phone down once more so he can refocus. He can tell Natasha's gearing up to say something and cuts her off.  "Don't." 

"--She's got you wrapped around her finger, doesn't she?" 

_Maybe a little._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are a few excuses for the lateness;   
> 1) I have been super busy with school. I graduate exactly a month from now. I've done my trial exams, and my final exams start on October 13th, so studying is priority... not that I've been doing much.  
> 2) I have a huge extended family. So that means there are constant birthdays and parties I need to be in attendance for. It sucks, because I really don't like any of them, and they live extremely close to me. Ugh.   
> 3) Lots and lots of stress. Back to the school issue, I have had two major works, one of which was handed in three weeks ago and one of which consists of two performances and is next week. I have been slaving away to finish those and make it out with my sanity intact. I've also got to start considering university preferences and stuff like that, which means going to lots of open days and uni tours. hella stressful. 
> 
> Nevertheless, I'm working really hard to try and get these chapters done in my spare time, as well as for the other stories I have going. I have a whole bunch of prompts in my drafts and ask over at [my tumblr](http://www.awwcoffeeno.tumblr.com), but I'm putting them on hold until I have time or until the muse strikes me. I'll post updates about when I'll be posting the next chapters for fics there, so follow for updates and regular pictures of pretty people. 
> 
> Thank you all soooo much for sticking by me and my stories, even though I suck at keeping on time with posting.


	3. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Yikes** , well.

Hi there friends, sure been a while!!

So, uh, in the while I was gone, I graduated Highschool, got into uni, dropped out of uni, got into college, travelled a bit, got a job, and I am now nearly halfway through aforementioned college. As of right now, I've lost the muse for this story, and a few of the others that I have going (I'll copy + paste this little note onto those). I'm gonna list this one and a few others as complete stories/ add (incomplete) to their titles. but if you're a fan of Dragon Age, I have a little somethin' somethin' in the works, and who knows, maybe one day I'll pick them back up again. Stay tuned!

-xx your friendly neighbourhood whizbang

**Author's Note:**

> I promised happy OT3. I love snapchat. I love my friends. I wrote this.


End file.
